It’s hard to be alone when we don’t know ourselves.

From early on, we’re taught to identify through association: the cliques in school, the teams we play on, the families we’re in, the churches we attend. If we’re not careful, these associations can become our identity and keep us from discovering who God created us to be.

Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. –Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Don’t get me wrong, God created us for community. He created us for connection. But there are longings in us that no job, boyfriend, or marriage can fulfill.

Take it from someone who was given a spouse who’s pretty much like Jesus. A man who has loved me faithfully, selflessly, and deeply. But I had to learn—many times the hard way—that there are things Addison can’t give me. My wholeness is not found in him or his love for me. My wholeness is found in God.

Your story doesn’t begin when you say “I do.” God’s not waiting on you to find your soul mate. So use the gift of singleness to become whole in Christ. Don’t believe the lies that’ll keep you from going deep in this season of “waiting.”

Grab hold of everything God has for you now.

Trust me, your future Mr. or Mrs. will thank you.

10 Comments

  1. Monica Bowser

    Oh my goodness! I love this, this is just what I needed! I am a 30 and single, but I am not letting it stand in my way, because I know that God has amazing things in store for me in my singleness, but I will say there are times where it is hard. I find myself sometimes wanting to rush finding the man God has for me, but then I tell myself that if you rush it, it won’t be amazing! A pastor came to our church and spoke on Waiting Right and it just spoke to me, from there on I have been reading books on singleness and spending time with God. Now I will admit that I do slip sometimes, I find myself watching TV and wasting my time. Time is so precious and if we don’t use it wisely then what was it for, we can’t get it back. I love being in my singleness I’m learning so much about myself, thank you so much for these videos, I look forward to the rest!
    God bless!

    • Monica Bowser

      One thing I forgot to mention was that it is hard to be 30 most people at my church are married and/or have kids. It can have a toll on you it can make you feel sad and ask God why am I still single? I try to remember that He knows what is best for me more than I do!

  2. Hey Juliana and Madison, thank you so much for the message! This has stoked the fire for me to keep pressing on in purity, patience, and boldness! Keep seeking the Holy Spirit in all that you do! 🙂

  3. Great thoughts, ladies!

    Lately, I’ve been thinking that perhaps framing conversations about singleness as a “waiting period” could actually be unhelpful. If we’re waiting for something, doesn’t that inherently imply a sense of incompleteness with the current status (which is not the case with singleness)? For example, if you’re enjoying summer, you’re probably not waiting for that season to be over. But it’s you’re sick of driving in the snow, you probably feel like you’re waiting for winter to be over.

    Thoughts?

  4. This was beautiful, thanks for sharing your story and letting us know how important timing, wholeness and a servant-mindset are to marriage. I could feel your heart come through in this. Many of us can’t wait cos we have no realistic idea of what marriage is like.

  5. Mark Newman

    Really good about the alone time of being single, and devotion that to the Lord, and intimacy with Him!

  6. Ian Jon-Paul Bernard

    This is awesome! I never really thought about the amount of time we have with the Lord in singleness. Man so good! I have a lot of married friends, and I realize time is limited with kids. lol Thanks so much for sharing your stories and words of truth. You ladies rock!

  7. I really loved this wow thank you.

  8. I love that and absolutely agree. I’ve been single for the majority of my life because anyone I would end up meeting would just use me and say it’s not working I don’t want a relationship.I used to be the one who always worried about what others would think of me, always wanted to be liked by the outside world and it was difficult for me to be alone, I was scared to be left with my own thoughts I have been rejected alot and thought on many occasions that there was something wrong with me and through a series of hard phases in life I dint know who else to turn to but God . I was honest with Him and said I don’t know how to do this with You, I don’t know what I must do but all I know is that I need You . He has delivered me from alot of hurt and pain and confusion and has made me realize that He is my identity, He is my life and I am who He says I am . Reaching this point in life has been extremely freeing for me . He has even put it in my heart that He will send me a stable man when the time is right and that has brought me alot of comfort and ease, I trust Him and I have realized that He is all I need . He is and will always be my number one man!! I have never been happier .❤️

  9. thank you for being so REAL! I love hearing about waiting and instead of seeing it as a drag we should change our perspective! to fix our focus on Him and that every season we are in is a season worth being in! like WOW God actually knows what He is doing! LOL

    P.S. Madison its so funny cause I JUST read that verse in 1 Cor. this morning and the Lord reminded me to treasure this season that I am in, to simply be in love with Him and read everyday with Him!

    love you guys!! :))

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