How to Know When You’ve Found the One
With all the engagements happening in the Bevere family—both real and delusional—(sorry, Alec), we thought it’d be a good idea to offer three tips to help you know whether you’ve found that special someone . . .
Tip 1: You have the knowing.
Feelings come and go—they ebb and flow with the seasons of life. But conviction (the knowing) grows from the core of your being and becomes a part of who you are. This knowing flourishes into a surety that will help you weather marriage’s storms and go the distance. Without the knowing, relationships shrink into oblivion. (That’s a nice way of saying they don’t last.)
Tip 2: You’re not afraid of the hard stuff.
(No rock pun intended.)
It’s not a good sign if you’re treating your relationship like a frail baby bird. Relationships that last a lifetime are not afraid of hard stuff. During dating or engagement, people tend to avoid hard conversations about past relationships, financial expectations, family dynamics, etc., thinking these hard conversations will get easier once they’re married. WRONG . . . they only get harder. If you’ve really found your special someone, your conviction (the knowing) will lead you straight into the hard conversations. That’s where deep relationships and understanding are forged.
And finally . . .
Tip 3: You can answer THE hard question.
We often hear people say, “I just don’t know if _______ meets everything on my list!” Or, “I don’t know if ______ will make me happy.” While chemistry and happiness are important—both of these questions reflect the self-centric epidemic of our time and won’t get you far enough.
The hard question you should ask is, “Am I willing to lay my life down for this person in marriage?” If the answer is YES, then you’ve probably found the right one. Marriage is the ultimate opportunity for laying your life down, and that’s the reason God uses its symbol to convey His sacrificial love for us (see Ephesians 5).
So if you’re considering whether someone is Mr. or Mrs. Right, run your relationship through these three tips and see where you land.
There’s another obvious tip that we should probably share: Don’t marry someone who hasn’t committed their life to Christ. It’s just asking for trouble.
That’s it for now, but we’d love to hear from you. Let us know if you have any questions or additional tips to share.