In my opinion, there is nothing better than having a loyal friend. Someone to walk through the ups and the downs with. Someone to laugh about ridiculous things with. Someone to have crazy adventures with. (Those adventures eventually make the best stories.)

Growing up, this whole friendship thing seemed much easier and natural. My parents would often drop me off at a friend’s house, and we would spend most the night laughing and talking until one of us crashed. But as we’ve grown older, it feels like these friendships, in general, have gotten harder.

Is it possible that in today’s digital age friendships aren’t going as deep as they used to? Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with developing friendships over digital platforms. I met my fiancé  and one of my best friends that way. But relationships have to go deeper than virtual hearts and likes. You want friendships that will challenge you . . . real people who will call out things in you that you can’t see.

One of my best friends and I will often get in arguments because we’ve both given each other permission to speak into each other’s lives. He will call me out for something I’m doing, and I won’t see it right away and will normally push back. But he won’t back down. Eventually, I’ll see his perspective, and even if I don’t agree, it makes me so thankful for a person who fights for what’s best for me.

If you haven’t already, take a moment to watch the video above and then identify those type of people in your world. People who aren’t in competition with you or just being critical of you. Whenever I am with someone and they continue to put others down, I will no longer hang out with that person. I try to surround myself with people who are uplifting and encouraging, but also full of truth.

All of us on the Sons & Daughters Team want to do life with you and support you however we can, but obviously we can only do that to an extent. So find people around you that are going to take you to a higher level. Choose carefully. The old maxim is true: if you show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.

We love you guys and are so happy that we get to do this journey with you!


  1. Hiya! I discovered Sons and daughters by listening to Conversations with John and Lisa, very excited to be a part of this platform, God bless for all you’re doing, I am a youth leader in a small church in London-UK trying to encourage the youth and youth adults to go deeper in God with me. Not easy as I have my own struggles being 25 I have a desire to make good friends who are on this Christian walk also 🙂

  2. I couldn’t agree more with everything you just said!!! Friendships are so valuable, like gold treasure to guard and protect. I appreciate these words deeply, they’re comforting and confirming a situation with one of my best friends… We had that kind of relationship you’re talking about, but as seasons of life changed and as he made some decisions outside the will of God, I was the one to call him out. He has not taken the change or my accountability toward him well, and has left our friendship. It’s hurts like none other…
    I am hoping and waiting and praying for the day when he will come back home under the covering of God’s way. There have been moments where I’m not sure if I’ve done the right thing, or wish I could’ve done it better, but this post is encouraging that I’m on the right path even if it hurts. Thanks for sharing Arden. Those are wise words…

  3. Teresa Hwangbo

    Prayer is the secret key to meeting & building healthy vibrant “Jesus” focused friendships!! I remember feeling completely alone when I first entered a new boarding school. I called out to my Abba in prayer and petitioned for Him to bless me with a friendship that would enable us to spurr each other on towards deeper relation with Christ. And now, I have been blessed with a soul sister who is my best friend! Prayer-Let us never forget that He hears us!💕 Thank you Arden, for sharing!:)

  4. How do you met good christian friends? I have been deeply hurt in the past by christians and i have searched but yet i have not found any. Do you have any practical tips on how to meet good loyal christian friends?

    • Hi,
      I believe a good place to start is praying. I have also been hurt by fellow Christians and I went through a period of time where I felt like I was alone on my spiritual walk. So, I made it my continual petition before God to surround me with my “battle buddies” to do life and ministry with. Pray, then trust that God sees you and has a plan for you. He answered my prayers and I know He’ll answers yours too 🙂

      Part of my process included letting God work in my heart and heal it from those past pains so that I would be in a place where I could actually welcome the friendships He was going to bring in.

      Praying with you, E.

  5. Thank you for sharing it! The points you’ve mentioned are really good… It’s always a risk to let someone in your life because you can get hurt so easily… but love was and is shown by Jesus this is always my focus in my friendships… 🙌

  6. I needed this
    Glad you switched it up
    I’ve fallen into the nobody wants to do life with me narrative but I also don’t try anymore so it is possible there is a correlation
    Thanks !

  7. Sarra Herring

    TRACAAYYYY!!!!! I am so glad you did this post. This is so so so necessary and we will crumble without close knit friendships to do life with! Thank you!

  8. This is amazing and so needed!