I didn’t grow up around healthy marriages. It seemed like every marriage was just a first step toward divorce. Because of this I didn’t want to get married. But then I met Addison.
Our courtship belonged in a fairytale. It was a whirlwind experience, full of romance, salvation, and self-discovery.
And, truth be told, this whirlwind experience made me believe that our lives, which included our marriage, would naturally travel toward the “happily ever after” that magically exists somewhere over the rainbow.
But then life happened. Expectations were challenged. Dreams put on hold.
To escape from my new, uncomfortable world of being young, newly married, and pregnant, I binge-watched shows that offered an alternate reality—shows that made relationships and life look struggle free.
I wanted to hide from reality because I was confused by God’s process. Where was His goodness in my pain and disorientation?
What I didn’t realize was that God was preparing me to find true intimacy and joy—the kind that He created me to know. But He first had to create a bit of chaos because my expectations were all wrong . . . and they were pointed in the wrong direction: me.
Everything in my life was about my comfort, my fulfillment, my needs—but God was moving me toward a season of profound sacrifice. The kind you either dive into or die in.
Through this disorientation I started to see things differently. I began to let God give me new expectations for my life. Expectations that pointed me toward the growth, wholeness, and intimacy that He desired for my marriage and family.
And I can tell you now, after almost 11 years of marriage, that the fairytale marriage is possible—but it looks very different. It’s larger than anything I could’ve imagined, and it has required me to give things I didn’t even know I had.
My hope is that I can share some perspective that I wish I would’ve had as a newlywed. Some wisdom (am I old enough to use that word?) that could help you align your expectations with God’s plan for your life. That way when God’s ways start messing with yours, you’ll find peace in the process.
With love ❤️,